Literally. One thing I have never been accused of is being a gentlemean, but if I feel a woman is being threatened, or indeed any friend of mine, regardless of gender, I’ll step in. One swift screw-jab to the temple is normally enough to at least incapacitate the perpetrator, if not outright TKO them.
So it was with some surprise that I encountered my first fight in several months when Cassie and I were at the Savoy a few nights past … we were out seeing Iron Man - great show, highly recommended – and afterwards we were planning to head to Eddie Rocket’s before getting a taxi back home.
So we expected no trouble, but passing the GPO three scumbags in white tracksuits appeared.
‘Areet bud? Having a good night?’ I responded coolly.
‘Yeah, fine so far.’
We walked on, but clearly the scummers thought to themselves here’s a guy with his girlfriend, easy pickings. What they didn’t know was that I had, like €20 in my pocket. Wasn’t even worth mugging.
‘Bud, ya got any change? I just need a few bob.’ Flanked by his homies, he ran ahead of us. I noted they were trying to block us in, and started looking for ways to run. I could throw Cassie over my shoulder and peg it if needs be.
‘Ah sorry, can’t help you.’ I saw a flash and to my horror realised the fucker was wielding a wee switchblade. Shit.
‘I wasn’t asking bud. Now hand over that money a’ yours and your pretty little girlfriend won’t get cut up.’
While it was over in a flash, it happened in seconds, it seemed like a lot longer to me. I analysed the threat; three guys, one definitely armed, no Gardai in sight, the chance I’d get shived for twenty bob … fuck that. I’m not spilling blood for no reason. Not mine anyway. That fucker’s going down.
‘Reet man, decision time.’ He took a step towards Cassie. That step was all I needed. I burst towards him, threw my leading hand in to premptively parry a knife strike, and as I parried, I pivoted on my heel and brought my right hand up and literally smashed it into his jaw with the base of my palm. Continuing the strike, I brought my left hand back, smashed that palm into his face, then started in with elbow strikes to the face before finishing him off with a swift knee to the groin. Having dispatched him, I saw his mates try to leg it. As my instructor would say, don’t follow a fight; finish any already started. Looking down at the wheezing form on the ground, I kicked his shiv onto the road, stood over him, and spat on him.
‘Shitbag. Did you really fucking think I’d give you heathen scum money?’ Cassie was in pure shock, like nothing had registered since these guys first accosted us. I have to admit, I was running on pure adrenaline too, and later on I collapsed into bed without saying a word when it wore off. That was later though.
Deciding to finish the fight off, I drew back my knee and slammed it into the side of his head, sending him tumbling, probably unconscious to the ground. I grabbed Cassie’s arm, and with a quick glance to make sure he was on the ground, legged it to a taxi and didn’t say a word until the following morning.
Few days later a summons arrives for me in the post. Apparently the Alpha Scum caught my name and reported me for assault to the Gardai … next week I have to go to a sitting of the District Court. Dave’s representing me … should be interesting …
5 Comments
You want to be careful Brian . . your word against his . .I hope Cassie’s on side! Any priors? Could be in BIG trouble if you have. You need a secret nom de plume for assault situations . . .
What kind of horse shit is that?
In a more civilized society the law is very clear. He displayed a weapon and you felt that your as well as others around you lives were in danger. Thus you had every right to stop the attack with prejudice.
Here, you would have done the same but then stayed and called the 5-Oh. They would have showed up. You would have pointed out to them the knife and the only court you would be going to is his sentencing hearing.
You get mugged and now you are being charged? That make as much sense as going hunting with an accordian!!!
Go read this post I wrote about a year ago.
http://www.brianf.us/2007/04/26/bang-bangnow-youre-scared/
Baino: Any prior charges? Yeah, I was previously convicted of two assault charges, naturally against bouncers, and I’m hoping they don’t have a three and out rule. I’m too good looking to go to prison!!
Brianf: That excellent beating the Philadelphia police gave those boys aside, our Gardai are overworked/incompetent, depending on who you listen to. It would have taken a few hours for them to come and even then I’d imagine Scumbag Alpha would have regained consciousness and tried to make a legger, and I would have gone for him again. That would have been aggravated assault, so perhaps it’s best I didn’t stick about.
Hearing is tomorrow anyway, should be ‘fun’.
What? Did that actually happen?!?! I can’t believe that really happened. That really is horse shit. Where’s the justice?!!?
I imagine being in that sort of situation from time to time and smashing my assailant into a bloody pulp, but faced with the scenario for real, I’ve no idea what I’d actually do. I can only hope I’d have your guts. You could’ve saved Cassie’s (and your own) life… it makes no sense at all.
No, I spent two weeks in jail for the shits and giggles. Course it happened.
I wanted to curb stomp the fucker a la American History X but that would have been a step too far.